Love, relationships, and commitment—these concepts have been debated, redefined, and even tested throughout history. The question of yours, mine, or ours has echoed across cultures, genders, and generations, with no single definitive answer.
From music to movies, literature to real-life experiences, the subject of love triangles, and infidelity, has been captivating to all generations. Brandy and Monica famously sang "The Boy Is Mine," laying claim to a shared love interest. Toni Braxton, on the other hand, dismissed the competition with "He Wasn't Man Enough for Me."Even the legendary Whitney Houston found herself in a forbidden love affair, "saving all her love" for someone who already belonged to another. These songs tell stories that many have lived—whether as the one in love, the one betrayed, or the one caught in between.
Djen and Shilz have boldly opened Pandora’s box with their latest podcast episode, where they dive deep into the complexities of relationships, infidelity, and the emotions that come with them. These aren’t simple matters of right or wrong; they are matters of the heart, that are messy, painful, and sometimes left unspoken because facing the truth can be too painful.
In some cultures, the concept of sharing a partner is not only accepted but embraced. Polygamy, though widely frowned upon in modern relationships, still exists, often favoring one gender over the other. In the Western world, monogamy is the expectation, and straying outside of it is labeled as betrayal. Infidelity is one of the deepest wounds a relationship can suffer.
For those who unknowingly become victims of cheating, the discovery can feel like a rug pulled from under their feet—leaving them heartbroken, disoriented, and questioning their self-worth. The rollercoaster of emotions that follows is often overwhelming, bringing feelings of insecurity, self-doubt, and even depression. Betrayal strips away the innocence of a relationship, leaving behind scars that take time to heal.
There is no universal response to infidelity. Every person and every relationship is different. Some choose to walk away, knowing they deserve better. Others decide to work through the betrayal, rebuilding trust step by step. The important thing is to make a choice that prioritises your well-being and mental health.
If you have ever been cheated on, know this—you were not the problem. Someone else’s betrayal is a reflection of their choices, not your worth. You are deserving of love that is honest, loyal, and fulfilling. Whether you choose to stay and heal or walk away and start anew, the most important thing is that your decision leads you toward a healthier, happier version of yourself.
5 Simple Ways to Heal After Infidelity
Allow Yourself to Feel – Acknowledge your emotions without judgment. It's normal to feel hurt, angry, confused, or even numb. Suppressing your feelings will only delay healing.
Seek Clarity, Not Obsession – While understanding what happened can help, avoid fixating on the details. Focus on what you need to heal rather than reliving the pain.
Prioritise Self-Care – Infidelity can damage self-worth. Rebuild confidence by taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Engage in activities that bring you joy and peace.
Decide What You Want – Healing doesn’t always mean staying or leaving. Take time to assess what’s best for you—whether that’s rebuilding trust or moving forward on your own.
Seek Support – Lean on trusted friends, family, or a therapist. You don’t have to navigate this alone. Professional guidance can help you process emotions and make informed decisions.
So, when faced with the question "Yours, mine, or ours?", the real answer should always be: What is best for me?
Tune in to this week’s CML episode for a ‘very funny”, insightful reflective discussion on relationships! Liked what you’ve read? Leave us a like ❤ and comment ☕🫶🏾📖
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